Power of the Pause, Especially During Peri-menopause

Interestingly enough, I always feel compelled to write about a subject after having an experience coping with it. Today, I just happened to remember that I thought I wrote about this subject previously, only to find a drafted post already named (above) and this WebMD link pasted in the body with nothing else written.

So, after having been in the throws of emotional highs and lows for the past week, I’m reminded today of the POWER OF THE PAUSE. Having just returned from visiting our daughter in NJ for about a week, my uterus decided to remind me that she’s still a bit confused about how long she’s supposed to keep working. This has now become a bit of an irregularly regular stressful anticipation and while I’m taking steps to identify and improve circumstances via holistic and lifestyle modifications, it takes time. And, it’s complex because our hormones are the substance of signals in our body. Broadly, via this signaling, hormones help to regulate much of our body’s physiology and behavior—including our sleep, digestion, sexual function, stress, and mood. When those rascals are off, everything feels off.

In the meantime, I’m not sure about you ladies, but often I feel kinda crazy. The highs are super high and the lows, especially post-holiday travel and loneliness blues, feel quite low.

As an Awareness Coach, it’s super embarrassing to lose control over responses to things. Of course, the upside is I am generally ultra aware, but that sometimes leads to extreme self-punishment for knowing better and not doing better. This is and will continue to be why I believe we learn more from relating with others than we ever will by self-isolating, which is ironically, also my go-to when I feel low. So, I see you, ladies. It’s this reflection of you whom I wish to relate to you and help you see that with intention, we can regain control over our thoughts and experience glimmers rather than triggers.

I find that journaling helps, as does my quiet cup of cacao in the morning, setting intentions for the day. This is all well and good, but what about those moments in the throws of allowing that weird-ass paranoid narrator in your brain to go too far and tell you a story that you actually begin to believe and respond to?

Our minds our powerful and like muscles, they need exercise to function optimally.

PAUSE – The POWER is in the PAUSE.

Before reacting, pause and take a deep breath. Maybe ask yourself some questions relative to the situation.

1. What assumptions might I be making?
2. If I write this email or text, am I being impeccable with my word?
3. Is there something I could be taking personally that isn’t about me at all?
4. How can I do my very best in this moment?
5. What is right about this that I’m not seeing?
6. How does this get better?
7. What else is possible?

The concepts and questions brought forth from the Four Agreements and Access Consciousness are a great go-to for me to get a grip on reality for a moment when my ego decides to take the wheel and steer my ship into a storm. And, with the hormonal changes of being closer to 50 now and adapting to a multitude of changes, mood swings and skewed perceptions can feel very real.

Readers, if you have some tools or tricks that work for you and keep you from overreacting as you’re going through peri-menopausal and menopausal swings, please feel free to leave them in the comments! I’d love to hear them and so would others.