Wowie, it’s been a while, huh? Needless to say, A LOT has happened in the last eight months. I was on a roll with my writing for a while, then per usual, fell into a big slump in September. If I had not had someone to be accountable to, I would have back slid. However, this was the very first holiday season IN MY LIFE I managed to not gain around 10 pounds, completely fall off track and into the depression trap, hiding until spring. Considering the heavy personal stuff that came up, I consider this a huge accomplishment.
I’d like to point out I’m aware I have many people, experiences and things in my life I’m very grateful for. I leaned on them more this year and admitted when I was sad or struggling. I even made a lengthy post on Facebook, which I tend to avoid doing, airing my frustrations and personal shit that’s not positive. These small steps in vulnerability helped me connect to others who often needed to have similar conversations.
Change isn’t easy. I’ve been listening to an audiobook, The 5 Second Rule, and am gaining more control of my thoughts and reactions. Although I’m definitely not always perfect at this, I’m continuing to learn and make progress. This book is one of several audiobooks helping me raise my vibration and quiet the noise. The kind of changes I’ve been making affect everything in my life one way or another – marriage, parenting, relationships with family, friends and business associates. Having personal awareness and responsibility in knowing, understanding and redirecting triggered emotions is proving to be one of my biggest life lessons.
Family counseling with my parents and sister have also been very insightful on identifying areas I need to improve within myself. As hard as this process has been, I have to give kudos to our family for working through some tough generational stuff. I won’t write about details other than this mention, but feel it’s been an important catalyst, no matter the outcome. The counselor has also been providing some great tools for communicating and how to listen without getting defensive. I think EVERYONE can benefit from this stuff.
Since I last posted, I’m no longer staying absolute keto, although I still believe it to be an effective way of losing weight for some people. My sister, for example, has lost over 30 pounds since fall. I’m still doing my best to follow a low and balanced carb diet, but have returned to tracking calories using MyFitnessPal to get an idea of what I’m burning each day with my workouts and massage schedule. I’d like to know what I need to be eating to lose 3% body fat. I’m at just under 21% right now and would like to achieve 18% by July. I intend to commit to an organized bike ride and am considering a team-oriented multi-sport race of some kind.
Our daughter is now a permit driver and landed her first official job. She’s such an amazing young woman. I really hope she’s learning how to find her own strength as she witnesses these changes in me. When she was in the bedroom with me as I was trying on swimsuits before our vacation, we discussed my loose belly skin. It’s a thing after weight loss and I’d considered having it cosmetically augmented until now. When she asked me if I planned to have surgery, I looked at her, placed my hands where I grew her and said “I’ve grown to love this part of my body. It’s where you came from and I don’t want to remove it.” We both got a little teary. Parenthood is so different at every stage. She teaches me things about myself almost daily.
Moving forward, I’m…
This was where I left my thoughts a couple days ago with plans to finish it before the weekend. Little did I know I was about to experience an incredible lesson in patience, habit changes, self awareness and letting go.
Check out my next post to find out more.
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