Okay, well my grandmother died just after three important relationship reconciliations and a major promotional campaign ended, all in one week.  So, naturally, I felt like this might be a good time to pick up the pen and paper – well, the keyboard – again.

Obviously, my writing cycles with life events and I’ve realized my infrequent and sometimes melancholy posts are therapeutic. Although, many times I procrastinate writing with intent to post here because it’s not the attention I’m after, rather the connection with people.  Maybe someone else is journeying through similar experiences and could benefit from my outpourings.  I always find comfort in feeling that ‘I’m not alone’.

What inspired me to pick up the pen this time?  Well, besides all that I mentioned in the first sentence of this post….I have some relationship thoughts and revelations to ponder.

This evening, while putting away the dishes in the dishwasher, I was reminded of how I sometimes get frustrated by the way my husband loads them.  For years, I’ve wondered how two people with such different minds, experiences and perspectives can find themselves falling head over heels in love and enter into a contractual agreement that is intended to last a lifetime.

I’ve watched my parents “do life together” for nearly 40 years now.  You name it, they’ve been through it.  My mom often says that we all three grew up together those first years. They’re far from perfect, both come from long lines of generational curses and families doing the best they can with what they have been given.  For many years, I’ve passed judgement, been bitter and even wished for divorce as I’ve seen the cycles repeat themselves.  I’m not proud of my lack of support and sharp tongue over the years. Yet, am grateful for new found perspective.

While I walked with my father last Tuesday evening as he carried my mom’s dying mother’s dirty laundry to the car, he shared with me his shiny one year token and admittance of inability to control alcohol.  You see, it was just over a year ago that he had a single car auto accident that helped him realize this.  That’s also when I stopped writing here.

This has been a hard year.  Many things have happened, some I’ll eventually share here, some I won’t.  With his acknowledgement, however, came great healing and a new understanding of love and relationships.  Let’s face it, they suck sometimes and most times aren’t naturally sexy, especially after about year seven.

Now, at nearly 15 years into my own marriage contract, I’ll tell you they take work and a lot of patience.  Being able to forgive and truly forget is harder than you might think and having the discipline to listen and generate passion through some of life’s most mundane household routines always proves to be a great challenge.

As mom and dad have said, we aren’t intended to do life alone and nobody ever said it would be easy, otherwise there wouldn’t be phrases like “for richer and for poorer” and “in sickness and in health” in the contract.  The business end of this partnership takes a lot of investment by both shareholders if we are to have a successful bottom line.  Most importantly, it’s imperative to lean on our advisors when necessary.

Now, as I stare my 37th birthday in the face, I can honestly say I feel blessed to have had a real example of unconditional love and commitment to follow in my own marriage.  Despite our opposite ways of thinking or even loading the dishes in the dishwasher, we are here for each other until death do we part.

I’m intending to write more frequently this year and hopefully cultivate some good conversation, always leaving on a positive note.

In the midst of the draft of this post, I received a call from one of our friends who was in a dark place, needing consolation or just simply someone to be real with.  It was a nice reminder to me that we’re all a lot alike.  Electromagnetic atoms bumping into one another having positive and negative experiences.  Without the negative ones, we’re unlikely to appreciate the positive.  And… if we don’t ever give ourselves the opportunity to reach out and bump into one another, we’ll miss the opportunity to exist with purpose.

Celebrate GRATITUDE this month – even if it’s only an abundance of cups.